


I wish that I had two faces (imposter)

by palejoseph



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Mental Illness, Murder, Romance, Self Harm, Suicide, Violence, joshler - Freeform, kinda cute at some points
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-02
Updated: 2016-08-02
Packaged: 2018-07-28 21:03:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7656697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/palejoseph/pseuds/palejoseph
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tyler (who loves drama class, black and white movies and Taco Bell) falls in love. (clear songfic)</p>
            </blockquote>





	I wish that I had two faces (imposter)

**Author's Note:**

> hello hello,, this is just my little interpretation on my favourite twenty one pilots song. (clear songfic)

darkness. the only light visible in Tyler's room was the glow of his phone screen. he was used to little or no sleep but for once he was surprisingly sleepy. the time read 02:17. as soon as he switched his phone off, his eyes became heavy and drifted to sleep. 

"tyler. tyler, i know you're there. never forget tyler. i know who you really are. you're an imposter. an imposter. i know you and your secrets. tyler, don't ignore me tyler. you aren't important. you're irrelevant. it's crystal clear. i'm still here tyler"

a deafening scream burns his lungs and throat as he wakes up sweating. his back curled forward as he gasps for breath with his head in his hands. moments later, tyler's parents burst through his bedroom door. a collection of arms tangled around him, tightening his chest even more. he knew there were concerned voices filling his room but all he could think about was the feeling of burning inside his body. 

"tyler! are you okay? please speak to us"  
"tyler, hunny what's wrong?"  
"tyler what do you need?"  
tyler this, tyler that. he got fed up of hearing his own name. 

"for the love of god would you please leave me alone!" he burst. suddenly, his mother retracted her arms and awkwardly placed them by her sides. she look startled. 

"tyler joseph who do you think you're talking to like that?" his farther questioned with a sharp tone, the concern in his voice no longer there. 

"you both need to mind your damn business and stop acting like you care. just get out of my room!" tyler felt no regret he hated when they were like this. 

his parents left the room after he received a 10 minute lecture on respect. he checks his phone again, his head still aching. 05:49. suddenly, his mind wandered and focused on the dream he had. it'd be a while since he last had a 'dream' like that. he blames it on the fact he hadn't taken his pills for a week before going back to sleep.

alarm: drama class [09:00]  
snooze - close

his alarm goes off and wakes him up straight away. drama class was one of the few things that still made tyler happy. drama class, bubble baths, black and white movies and taco bell. slowly, he sits up in his bed and yawns. then, he turns the alarm off and looks through his notifications. the only interesting thing was from instagram. some random guy had commented "hot baby boy" followed by the heart eyes emoji on one of his selfies. he chuckled to himself before getting into the shower.

after drying his hair and brushing his teeth, he puts on a causal outfit and heads out. his appearance didn't matter to much at drama class because by the end of it, his hair was a mess and he always managed to be sweaty and exhausted. when he gets to the 'community centre' (which he always thought was a weird name since about 50 people go there regularly and there's thousands of people in this town) he goes to the desk. a lady with short blonde hair and round, harry potter like glasses beamed up at him happily. tyler recognised her, elaine. she's worked here since he started drama group 7 years ago. 

"tyler joseph for the drama group?" he said with a smile.

"hello, tyler dear. one moment" she looks down at her computer and clicks some stuff "ok, all signed in. you can go through. oh, by the way, about 5 minutes ago a new boy came in and signed in. he came by himself so make sure he feels welcome." she smiled warmly again. a new guy. tyler hated change. so somebody coming and potentially screwing up the class wasn't something that tyler was hoping for. 

he smiled back at elaine before walking through the corridors to room 8, drama class. he walked in and it was so far the same. about 9 other people were already here, including the teacher. nobody called him mr. prince even though that's what his badge said. the class all referrer to him by his name, 'simon'. simons only 29. 11 years older than tyler. this is the 16-19 year old class so he's not much older than everyone, he's more of a friend than teacher to them. there was only 6ish minutes before the class started. it's only a class of 11 students (and one teacher) so it's pretty quiet. then, tyler remembered the new guy, a class of 12 now.

tyler's eyes scanned the room, searching for the new boy. suddenly, a mop of shocking pink hair catches his eye. that's him. surprisingly, tyler is practically mesmerised. a muscular boy who looks to be around 5'7. he's looking down at his phone, scrolling through twitter and tapping his feet slowly. tyler found him extremely attractive. tyler stood against the wall and started playing a random game he had downloaded. eventually, the class began. 

simon introduced the new boy as 'josh'. tyler liked that name as he repeated the word in his head while simon spoke.

"we're gonna start off with a little game so we can all get to know each other. this won't just benefit josh, but it will hopefully all wake up since you look like zombies this morning. right, who's knows how to play two truths, one lie?" the class all sat on the wooden floor in a large circle and started their game. 

people were revealing all sorts, one girl used it as an opportunity to announce her crush on a singer tyler had never heard of. some people talked about adventures like hitchhiking or exploring old hospitals. but it was quite difficult, everyone had very interesting lives and it was genuinely hard to find the lies. then, tyler's turn.

"ok, tyler?" still in thought about his truths (and lie), he scanned the circle looking for josh. everyone had their eyes on tyler, including josh. who had the most beautiful eyes tyler had ever seen.

"so" tyler started, throwing his hands onto his folded knees "number 1: once, i got into an argument with my parents and then ran away and lived in the forest for a week. number 2: whenever my parents buy soap, i taste some to see if i want to use it or not. and number 3: my last boyfriend was really best friends with harry styles" he looked around at everyone. they'd all turned to simon, except josh who was still looking at tyler. tyler broke the eye contact and looked at simon.

"very interesting tyler. so guys, raise your hand if you think number 1 was a lie" nobody raised their hand "ok, what about number 2?" 5 people raised their hands. 

"ok so that means number 3 wins. which was the lie tyler?" simon asked, looking back to him.

"number 2 actually" he said smugly, praising himself for fooling everyone. 

eventually it got round to josh. when he spoke, his voice was deep but tyler loved it. joshs statements were:  
1\. he thinks roses are the best flowers  
2\. he once stole a bottle of soda from a shop but felt really bad so went back and paid for it  
3\. his last boyfriend was best friends with joe jonas.

when he said the last statement, he was making eye contact with tyler and raised his eyebrows as if to mock him. the group voted that number 3 was a lie but it was actually number one.

"i love roses don't get me wrong" he said "but orchids are the best" 

at the end of the class, tyler started walking out the door before someone put their hand on his shoulder. he turned round to see josh smiling back at him.

"hey" tyler said anxiously.

"hey, just wondering if you were free?" he said as they both left the community centre.

"uh, yeah actually. why?" 

"you're really funny and interesting and I've just moved here so I need friends" josh laughed. tyler admired his friendly smile.

"sure, there's a starbucks down the road?" 

the two began walking along the street until they got to starbucks and both ordered a coffee. then, josh requested to see the forest that tyler lived in for a week. suddenly tyler began feeling nervous. a beautiful boy who he's never met wants to go to one of his favourite and most personal places. reluctantly he nodded before taking him on a 20 minute walk to the forest. on the way there, the game they played in drama class came up.

"so boyfriend huh?" tyler said with a joking wink. "you gay too then?" josh laughed before shaking his head.

"bi actually" he said before sipping his coffee "but did you ever meet harry styles that's what i'm interested in"

"actually yes, but only once. he had a birthday party and invited my ex jason, i was a plus one really" 

eventually, they got to the forest and tyler walked down to his favourite spot. the brown crunchy leaves supplied a dry blanket for the two to sit on. in every direction, all you could see was the trees. 

"wow it's beautiful here. id live here to to be honest" josh said admiring the beautiful trees. they spent hours talking. tyler leaned that joshs favourite colour is green, he plays the drums, he's a 19 year old gemini and he also loves black and white movies. than, tyler's brother text him asking him to come home. the two boys said goodbye and walked in the opposite direction to their homes.

it became a regular event. drama club followed by starbucks and six hours at the forest. the boys slowly became best friends and met every saturday for 7 months. the boys even became so close that josh managed to convince tyler to take his medication again, which has made him a lot better. no more bad dreams or bad thoughts. 

one day, josh sent tyler a text at 3:30 in the morning.

josh: meet me at the forest asap x

panicked and worried, tyler snook out to go meet josh. when he got there, he saw his best friend curled in a ball on the ground. screaming his name, tyler ran over. he sat next to him and pulled his head onto his lap. 

"josh baby what's wrong?" the older boy was cold and obviously sad. josh coughed harshly before turning onto his back and looking up at Tyler. he was pale and had dark circles under his eyes.

"i got lonely and wanted to see you" josh smiled weakly before coughing again, this time sitting up and practically choking. he gently laid back into tyler's lap.

"why are you so cold? are you okay?" tyler was still concerned as he stroked joshs mop of hair. josh looked away.

"josh?" he started coughing again. the coughing was getting worse and josh was shivering.

"josh how long have you been here?" he only shrugged, still looking away from tyler.

"josh please be honest. where's your home? where are you going and why are you here?" josh sighed and turned back to look at tyler. 

"wanna know the truth tyler? here it is. i was in foster care all my childhood and when i turned 18, i ran away from my foster farther. i started walking from town to town on my own. and the only reason i've stayed here for 7 months is you" josh had a strange tone, not angry but not sad. somewhere in the middle.

"josh. i" stuttered tyler, feeling awful.

"just don't ty. i just wanted to see you and now you know. are you fucking happy" josh growled with rough voice, before coughing harshly. 

"josh don't-" 

"don't what tyler? don't make you feel bad? well damn I'm sorry. why don't you just fucking go?" josh was practically vomiting at this point. tyler started welling up. he wanted to help is best friend but he's just making it worse. his bad thoughts were coming back. he had to go home.

he began sprinting home at 4am. he became out of breathe and fell to his knees, yelling on the street corner. when he got home he collapsed on his bed, sobbing. he knew what to do. he locked himself in the bathroom and pulled out a small box. he knew he'd regret it but he felt he deserved it, he's numb and hates himself. he needed a feeling, he needed to punish himself, he needed to 'drain his dirty blood'. then, a small amount of blood stains his pale skin.

the next morning his alarm goes off for drama club. even though he feels completely empty, he needs to apologise to josh. when he arrives, he scans the room and can't see the boy he's fallen in love with, the boy who he's hurt, the boy he can't live without.

3 weeks past and josh still hasn't been to drama. after the class, tyler goes down to their spot in the forest and can't find the pink haired boy. he sits and cries again. how could he do this to josh? for months josh had been the only thing he could think of, his soft peach lips and heart warming smile. now all he can think of is how he hurt him.

tyler feels himself drifting to sleep under the fresh spring leaves. 

"tyler. you've ruined it tyler. you were so close to love. he hates you tyler. will you tell him what you do last night? you shouldn't, he doesn't care about you feel. he wants you to feel worthless. i do too. we all do tyler. wake up tyler"

wake up tyler.

"ty, please wake up" tyler woke up suddenly. he's met with joshs eyes focused on him. he's still pale and looks exhausted.

"josh oh my god i'm so happy you're here"

"don't. i need to talk to you. let me finish before you react. i'm sorry about what happened, i was ill and tired and i just snapped. i'm so sorry for being so aggressive. i'm sorry baby" josh was practically sat on tyler's lap and looked like he was about to cry.

"josh, i'm so sorry for making you upset, i was so upset that id lost you. im not done yet, i'm not done yet no. he want to be with you forever. i'm sorry, i'm so so sorry" tyler wrapped his arms around joshs neck and rested his forehead on his shoulder. 

"tyler" Josh said softly, sending shivers down his neck and back "i love you"

"i love you too j" the boys sat in a long embrace. before tyler looked up to meet joshs eyes. cautiously, josh leaned in and pressed his lips against tyler. tylers eyes widened as he stayed perfectly still. as he began to ease, his eyes closed and his shoulders dropped. his hand moved from joshs shoulder to his cheek. tyler's head stopped, he had no bad thoughts and he felt genuinely happy. this is all he's wanted since he first met the inspiring boy. 

josh gently pulled himself away and tyler whined. joshs indescribable smile that tyler had fallen in love with months before still gave him the same butterflies.

"i want to sit in bed with you all forever and watch old movies and give you kisses and eat tacos" tyler said. he felt like he'd never experienced so much happiness ever. 

josh leaned back in and reconnected their lips. tyler reached down and grabbed the bottom of joshs shirt and clumsily fiddled with it before pulling it over joshs head. temporarily, their lips were reconnected before josh removed tylers shirt. 

suddenly, josh stopped moving. he froze. tyler became confused and worried.

"josh?" he whispered.

without saying a word, josh stood up, grabbed his shirt and walked away while redressing himself. tyler sat there, alone and cold. then when he started looking for his shirt, he realises. his scars still look fresh and scary. he went from sky high to rock bottom in minutes. 

tyler continued to sit there. it got dark and it began to rain. but he stayed. he hoped that josh would come back. he couldn't stand josh being upset. especially when it was his fault. it ended up getting late and Tyler couldn't help but fall asleep.

when he woke up to the sunrise, he has 18 missed calls. 7 from his mother, 3 from his farther, 4 from his brother and 4 from josh.

josh.

he also had a voicemail from Josh. he pressed play.

"hey ty, please call me. why. is it my fault? God. i'm coming back in the morning. please come meet me" 

as he turns his phone off, a distance glow of electrifying pink hair comes into sight. he doesn't look happy or sad. he's just walking towards tyler with a look of emptiness. then, josh comes and sits in front of him, looking at the ground, legs crossed.

"why?" he said, his voice croaking.

"i thought i's lost you josh. all the bad thoughts came past and i-"

"we're you taking your meds?" he still wasn't looking at him.

"no. i wasn't thinking and i was-"

"ty. i love you but if I'm going to be able to take care of you, you have to care of yourself too. i've never had a boyfriend who i've loved this-"

"boyfriend?" tyler almost shouted, his eyes wide and jaw dropped.

"um well i mean i guess i haven't asked but i thought-"

"yes i'll be your boyfriend. but josh it's not easy. i can't take care of myself. you're the only person who encourages me and when you're not there all i hear is this voice telling me what to do and controlling me. im getting worse josh. i don't know why im me and when im... not"

"what do you mean? not you?" josh finally looked up with a concerned expression.

"i become... the voice in my head. he just takes control and tells me what to do. but it's scary because i don't know when it's happened until it's over. it's like i pass out and don't realise i have until ive woken up with a headache"

"so what does this 'voice' make you like?" josh sounds scared but concerned. 

"well" tyler laughed nervously "mostly violent outburst, verbally and physically violent. sometimes it's sadness, just crying and sleeping and not eating. it's not a common thing it's usually once a week but recently it's been twice or three times a week"

"oh" whispers josh, look back down at the ground. 

"im sorry" tyler said with a crack in his voice.

"no no, i am. i didn't mean to do this"

Suddenly, tyler remember the missed calls from his family. as the rain continued pouring down, tyler grabbed joshs hand and began sprinting to his house. luckily, his parents weren't mad just worried and he was let off. he introduced josh to them and they went to his room. 

tyler put on an old movie and cuddled up to josh. they agreed to never argue again and cuddled up. happy once again. they ended up falling asleep next each other. josh ended up living with tyler, neither of them minded. tyler was happy he was safe and had a roof over his head. every night for 3 months they slept in each other arms. 

tyler had started to feel better he had stopped taking his pills. josh thought he was still taking them but he wasn't. tyler thought it would be a good idea. he was wrong. one night, they both fell asleep together like they normally do. but, when tyler woke up again, he felt different.

josh was still peacefully asleep but his head was aching and he felt exhausted despite the amount of sleep he'd had that day. he felt it. the emptiness. the voice was back. swiftly, he stood up and walked out the house. he didn't know where he was going, but he couldn't stop. the streets were dark and the rain hadn't stopped. all the stores were closed and nobody was in the streets. 

"perfect tyler. well done. you can do something right. are you ready? it's time. he's had it coming. you know all the times he abandoned you? he deserves this. imagine the feeling tyler. you can do it tyler. do it now, call him" 

the helpless tyler pulled out his phone. he scrolled through his contacts until he came across his pink-haired boyfriends name. he pressed call.

josh woke startled to an empty bed and ringing phone. he was confused yet relieved to see tylers name displayed on his screen. he pressed the green "accept" button and put the phone to his ear.

"hey? where are you? it's 2am, are you okay?" Josh said with a fake positive tone.

"meet me at starbucks. immediately" tyler put the phone down. his voice was robotic and emotionless. josh was getting increasingly worried. he was completely clueless. he grabbed a jacket from tylers couch and ran out the door. it took him about 10 minutes to jog to starbucks and he eventually saw the dark, slim figure stood in the street, facing the road. 

josh shouted tylers name many times but he couldn't hear, his head was too busy listening to the instructions the voice was giving. 

"whether or not you get caught, you'll always have me tyler. remember that. i know you better than anyone. are you ready tyler. he's coming. be brave tyler. see you on the other side"

tyler no longer had the power to react to the thoughts he couldn't control. he was helpless. he felt like a puppet and he was controlling himself. josh slowly approached him, placing a hand on his shoulder. he said something but tyler wasn't listening. then, he pulled out a gun and pointed it towards joshs chest.

josh was shouting and crying and backing away from tyler. tyler felt nothing. josh had his hands up and was still reversing away from the boyfriend he could no longer recognise. something was stopping tyler and he didn't know what. but josh kept on backing away, trying to distance himself from the immediate danger.

that's when the car came. he appeared out of nowhere. ambulances. sirens. blood.

joshs funeral was two weeks later. tyler started taking his pills again but he felt so guilty. he blames himself he hadn't talked to anyone in weeks. until now.

"now, joshs best friend tyler would like to say a few words"

anxiously, tyler stepped up to the microphone and coughed gently. 

"josh, i love you. and i promise, when i see you again one day and make it up to you. i will tell you all i can, but your mind will take a stand. i speak of a greater love, let me know when you've had enough"

they lowered the white coffin into the ground and read some bible verses. but all he wanted to do was go home. and when he finally got there, the voice was overwhelming. 

"he's finally gone. he got what he deserved. he wasn't good enough for you tyler. he didn't know you like i did tyler. we can be happy tyler. we're powerful together. i'm proud of you tyler. you shot the general on your side of enemy lines."

but this time, tyler had control. he knew what he wanted to and he wouldn't be talked out of it. he was ready to stop the voice and see Josh again.

he held the cold weapon in his hand. one bullet, the bullet be was going to murder his boyfriend with. not just his boyfriend, his best and only friend. the one person who was making him better. but tyler never helped himself.

"imposter, imposter, imposter" he kept whispering. 

he raised the gun to the side of his head.

"imposter, imposter, imposter"

he wrapped his shaking finger around the trigger.

"imposter, imposter, imposter"

his voice trembled as he closed his eyes and took a deep breathe in.

"imposter, imposter, imposter"

bang.

**Author's Note:**

> this is highkey awful but if you feel like attacking me, my Twitter is @PaleJoseph xoxo


End file.
